Living a gypsy gypsy life means that inevitably you end up with some gypsy loves. And unfortunately I found myself in one of those beautiful situations while traveling in Spain about a year ago. And just like most traveling experiences I ended up bringing that home with me.
So, Billy and I have been navigating the crazy world of long-distance for almost a year now, and after the closest we’ve come to breaking up yet, I thought it was time to write about gypsy love.
I’m not an expert or anything, but I think if people need anything in a long-distance relationship, it’s encouragement.
Gypsy love doesn’t follow the same rules as normal relationships, and that’s okay. It can be pretty heart-breaking to look at your friends waking up every day with their significant other and post nauseatingly cute selfies on Instagram. #mcm. While you have to deal with bad quality Facetime and weird sleeping and waking hours to accommodate time differences.
I think the first and most important thing to remember when looking at other couples is to remember:
You are not other couples.
A long-distance relationship is completely different than any other kind of relationship. While other couples are working on their life together, long-distance couples are working on themselves separately. And that’s okay.
There’s this stupid idea, perpetuated by social media probably, that all relationships have to be a certain way. And then there is also the fallacy that the person you are dating has to be everything in your life. While it can be so hypnotizing to fall in love and to spend time with your significant other, it can be so relieving to have the confidence to create yourself separate from your person.
Something that I also recently learned, and something that caused the most recent break-up:
Don’t freak out about the future.
Being long-distance inevitably makes you start thinking ahead to when, if ever, you will be able to actually be in the same place. Now, of course this is normal, but like I said before, it’s okay to be apart.
A co-worker of mine recently asked me, “are you ready to get married? Do you want to settle down right now?” And of course the answer was, “no”. If you’re not really ready to move in with someone and settle down, there’s no use worrying about being in the same place. When that time comes when you want to settle down then the compromise will be easier. You will make it happen.
But take pride and comfort in the place you want to be. If it’s a job, school, or family that’s keeping you where you are—apart from each other—then have confidence in that. When your priorities shift then you’ll be able to make a move. Don’t rush it, and you really don’t have to plan.
If there’s one thing that life has taught me:
There really is no plan.
So keep it up you gypsy love freaks! Consider yourself lucky that you have someone in your life who is very different than you and bask in the perspective they can give you. And enjoy your difficult and crazy love.
Stay strong fellow long-distancers, I believe in you!