I think Kara and I officially fuck up any sort of transportation when we are together.
I want to start off this post by saying: I got to eat flaming hot cheetos on a burger.
Then the bitching begins.
So. Friday morning dawns and I am up at about 8AM (this is early for me, folks) going through all the emails and trying to figure out how exactly I need to get my phone. The conclusion I had reached the previous night was this:
I need to go into KL and get to the SIRIM building in Shah Alam. This SIRIM building is some sort of government building and I knew I needed to get some sort of form there. I was unsure what I needed to bring. But at the last moment I saw that I needed my passport (thank god, because if I had forgotten it, all of the following trails would be for nothing). Then I thought I would take that form back through KL and to the airport customs to get my phone from them. Not super hard. I had looked up the train stops and was prepared.
Kara was coming for moral support.
So we catch the 9:30 bus from Tanjung Malim and travel the 1+ hour to get to KL. And this is early for me. I was thinking head into KL early so I can get all this shit done with and come back with loads of time to spare.
We get to KL and the bus starts winding around all these streets, I don’t know if there was too much traffic. Basically, we were tired so we hopped off early, turned out to be good because we were right at a monorail station so we boarded the monorail and went to KL Sentral. I knew we’d have to transfer from there.
Here is where we took the lovely break stop to Burger King and I got to put cheetos on a burger and enjoy my typically eating style, which is basically eating like a pregnant woman.
Then we had to get on the KTM (the train) to Shah Alam. At this point its probably 11:30. So were on this train for 45 minutes, get a cab and get to the SIRIM building at 12:30. Well, guess what time lunch starts? 12:30! Until 2:45!
That is a 2 hour and 15 minute lunch break! For those who can’t do math as quickly as I can.
The worst was that we had just missed it. Curse that burger.
And of course, now we are in this random city. Turns out Shah Alam is not part of KL, it’s another city all together. The guards at the gates (who are laughing at us) point out a mall and we’re like…I guess there’s nothing else.
Of course, it turns out to be a freaking muslim mall. I needed a new swim suit, but of course all they have is hajaabs (however you freaking spell it). But we did get massages. Though, they were by blind masseuse, which was cool and also slightly disturbing.
So after killing 2+ hours, we are trudging back through the heat to get to the customs/form building. Luckily we only had to wait like 15-20 minutes once we got there before someone could help us. It was this very charming lady who helped me fill out a bunch of forms. And I had a major struggle trying to log into my email. She’s like “can you log in on your phone” and I’m like “no lady, all I have is this pre-paid piece of shit. I am getting a new phone which is why I am here“. I digress.
The good new was: I didn’t have to go to the airport! Hooray. The lady was going to take my forms, process them and then send me the permit within 24 hours and I would forward that to the customs and then I guess they would release my phone and send it to KAB! This was lovely news. I wasn’t sure we were gonna have time for all of that anyway.
We get a cab to come directly to the building this time, because to hell if I was walking back through that heat. And at this point it is probably 3:30? We hop on the train back to KL Sentral.
Now, we know that the buses leave from Plaza Rakyat (this names are probably not important, but I’m keeping them in for sake of clarity in the story) to Tanjung on the half hour. We were think “oh, for sure we can make the 5:30 bus. Let’s plan for that. Get back to Tanjung by 6:30”. At this point, the trip had already taken much longer than I planned.
We get to KL Sentral and realize it is already 5 o’clock. And I did not want to miss the bus. So we ran up steps, and caught the first monorail train to Masjid Jamek. (This is the stop where we have to change trains to get to Plaza Rakyat) When we get there, we sprint down this long hallway and up probably 4 flights of stairs, and I am not in shape, so I am dying and panting and cursing this godforsaken country. We get to platform to realize we are on the wrong side. And because Masjid Jamek station was made by the devil, there is no happy bridge to the other side. We have to run all the way back down, through the hallway, down another hallway, up a few more flights of stairs and get to the other platform.
At this point, I am sweaty, pissed, and it’s 5:15. The train gets to Masjud Jamek at 5:20. Are you biting your nails yet?
Luckily, Plaza Rakyat is only one stop away. I was thinking “oh dear god, don’t let us barely miss something twice in one day! Where is the justice?!”
We’re off at Plaza Rakyat and sprinting to the bus station. I swerve into the big area and am bolting up the stairs, yelling at the guys with walkie-talkies “We’re going to Tanjung!! Radio them! Say we’re coming!” Of course, they have no idea what I mean or am saying.
Crazy, red-faced, sweaty, white girl sprinting up the steps and yelling nonsense in English. Yeah, I guess I can’t blame them on that one.
But we made it!
I get to the counter like: “Call them! Say we’re coming!” And the stone-faced ticket salesmen is like…”you have 5 minutes”. Chill as hell. So we pant our way to the bus and blast AC all the way back to Tanjung.
Which was actually a 2+ hour ride because we got stuck in traffic. We end up at KAB at 8PM. If you did the math right, like I did, that meant that my little trip to fill out a form took almost 12 hours of the day.
This is Malaysia for you, folks!
Don’t ship electronics. Just don’t do it.